13 January 2008

Eddie Vedder for Christmas

I dreamed that someone gave me Eddie Vedder for Christmas.

I’ve been off work for the past few weeks. It was over Christmas and New Year, which made the holiday season quiet and relaxed. Words not frequently used when speaking of the ‘most wonderful time of the year.’

My daughter was home on her Winter Break for part of the time, so I had excellent company and high quality support when I wasn’t feeling my best.

On the surface, it sounds great: “four to six weeks off.” Honestly. If you hear a coworker say they are taking an extended leave, don’t you find yourself thinking, or saying right out loud “LUCKY!” However, it isn’t quite 'as advertised' when you don’t feel so good the entire time. Don’t get me wrong, it went very well, as well as it possibly could, given the situation. It just doesn’t exactly qualify as pure luxurious time off when your top priority is pain management.

Pain management has its up sides and down. The most obvious up side is self-explanatory, and by the way my very favorite: the management of pain. It was a vital part of my healing and I am eternally grateful. As are the other members of my household. Pain makes me tense and crabby. So thank heaven for good meds.

I do confess that prior to my time off, I was a little bit concerned about the use of prescription pain medications. Down side. I know myself well enough to suspect that I might lean toward addictive tendencies. Consequently, I went into it thinking that I would try to use as little drugs as possible. I would tell you just how long that plan held up except I do not know the measurement of time smaller than the second. Is it nano-second? I’m not sure.

Anyway, as far as becoming addicted to prescription pain medications, it was all fine. They were incredibly necessary but that was the extent of it. Once I started feeling better, I didn’t think too much about drugs. That isn't to say that I came out of my time off unscathed. I did, in fact, acquire an unfortunate addiction (or two) that would never have happened otherwise.

More on that shortly.. . . .. . .

Unexpected side effects of the drugs were intense, vivid dreams every night, many times a night. Most of them were alarming and startling and I was glad when I woke up. But then a few days before Christmas, I had a dream that a friend, a very good friend apparently, gave me Eddie Vedder for Christmas. Perhaps the best Christmas present I received this year. Or EVER! This gift was incredibly fun and extremely accommodating. Lucky me. So it was a very Merry Christmas for me.

Early in my time off when I was feeling particularly lousy, I really didn’t want to eat anything. I had no appetite at all. Nothing sounded good, not crackers, not soup, not juice. Nothing.

Nothing, that is, except sherbet.

Now I love dessert. And one of my favorites is high quality ice cream. I have a relatively small bowl of ice cream most nights before I go to sleep. I haven’t eaten sherbet since I was in grade school. I admit to being a frozen dessert snob. Sherbet has always seemed like an unacceptable ice cream substitute. And unfortunately, has always carried with it the stigma of being a ‘sick food’ for me.

But recently when I was home and nothing else sounded appetizing, I ate sherbet. And it was so good. When I wasn’t feeling good, I’d have it a couple of times a day. Then after I started feeling better again, I had it every night before bed. Yes, I’m addicted. Obviously I was concerned about the wrong substance. I’m having some right now. Do you want some because I can totally hook you up. I can’t believe I used to be too cool for sherbet. Now, I'm checking the yellow pages for a support group.

The other addiction? The Food Network but I can't talk about that. Too painful.