A relief, maybe?
I remember so clearly during some of the most disheartening and lowest points in my marriage when I actually got onto my knees praying to care less. The price of full investment is quite steep. (Often while on my knees, my well sharpened rationalization skills would kick in and ask myself 'Would he truly prefer a wife who cared less?' I found this hard to imagine, yet that was precisely the case.)
And on most days, I'm happy to pay the high price because I wouldn't want to be the type of heartless soul who doesn't give a shit. But once in a while......a day, or a person, or an issue gets the best of me, beats me down to a bloody mess and I wish I could just wish it away. The passion. The caring. I wish I may. I wish I might. Poof. Gone.
Indifference looks very sweet from where I sit some days. Give me indifference.
At the same time, there's also part of me that thinks in a silent declaration to people in my life: "Be very, VERY careful what you wish for."
"Oh well, whatever, never mind," sang Kurt Cobain.
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