29 April 2012

Big Smile!!




I have been writing in my head about these flowers since they were delivered to me Wednesday. It was such a bright spot that I just couldn’t help it.

I had a really bad day this week. Tuesday.
And near the end of the work day for most people in my building, I stopped by a friend's desk, a diversion or release, I’d hoped. And she could see that I was a mess. She very kindly proceeded to just let me be a mess. A good friend will do that for you.

When I'd released some of the breath I'd been holding for most of the day and really had little left to vent, she asked me what I could do for myself in the form of comfort. Self-care.

“Is there anything you can think of that sounds calming and peaceful?” she asked.

“Well, I don’t really rely on ‘Retail Therapy’ for comfort but I sure wish I had just a bit of money, cash unspoken for, that I could use for a thrift store splurge. Or to buy myself tulips for my desk. For my home.” She nodded her understanding. And I went back to work. 

The next day when someone from the front desk opened the door to my department, I turned to see her carrying flowers. “They’re for you,” she said. They were the most cheerful thing I could imagine appearing spontaneously before me. Tulips, daisies, and card that read: Big Smile!!

The card was unsigned.

Of course, I was sure I knew who they were from. So I went to her desk. The same one as the evening before.
“I thought about it, but it wasn’t me,” she said, when I asked. I looked at her with doubt. “Swear to God,” she said.
I asked a couple more people.
“I wish it had been me, but it wasn’t.”
“Not me, but I’m happy to take the credit.”

But then before I ran out of people to check with, I decided that it was better not knowing. At first I couldn’t stand the thought of not getting to say Thank You, to whom ever sent them. But that was about me, wasn’t it? It was a much better idea to not know. To just let it be an unsigned gift. To let it be.

The flowers.
At my desk while I worked. To remind me of the angels in my life.

And now, the flowers, sitting here near my foot stool, in front of the drum set. Speaking to me.
An absolutely deliberate act of kindness.

I love not knowing.
I adore not knowing. 

As long as I don't know, then these flowers could be from ANYONE. And I mean anyone. My imagination runs wild, near and far. Like Schroedinger’s Cat, all options are possible.
(But don’t get me wrong, I’m not kidding myself about who they are not from.)
It really could be anyone. It could be you! Hey YOU, thanks for the flowers. They absolutely made my day. My week. Well done, You!!

I've said it before just recently and I'll say it again, "So shines a good deed in a weary world."


2 comments:

Saga of the Butterfly and Key said...

Barbie... thank you for letting me into your secret blog-world. I love your day of the mysterious flowers. It is wonderful how an act of kindness can lift us up and fill some of the empty parts with sweetness and light!!

Cyndi said...

That was a lovely post, but what stuck me is...you own a drum set?